Friday 31 January 2020

Saying goodbye to the EU



Today isn't a good day for the UK as today is the day we officially leave the EU. I for one, will not be celebrating this terrible decission, we will lose so many rights and freedoms, mostly because a group of people in the UK don't like foreigners and believe the EU is the root cause for problems in the UK. They don't have the sense to realise its their own government's austerity cuts, and these have nothing to do with the EU.

The sad thing about Brexit is that it will be people like me, who wanted to remain; we are now going to have to work ten times harder to make our own work and lives successful, and we are the ones who'll have to work even harder to help other people and try to stop this Brexit madness from being an even bigger disaster. We remainers will also get the blame when the dumb leavers start seeing what they've lost, and when the cost of living goes up.

I'm assuming that the lazy British workers, who are on social benefits are all going to now come off benefits and do the minimum wage hard work labour jobs that the hard working EU nationals used to do. Some British job seekers claimed there were no jobs because the Eastern Europeans were coming over and taking all the jobs. But the real reason is these jobs were hard work and low paid, and they were too lazy to do them, so they'd blame the foreigners and say they're taking the jobs. Now they can't do that, I assume they'll be queuing up to 'take back' these jobs that were stolen from them!

I too have lost out on work because of Brexit. An opera company that wanted to work with me in the UK, wanted to invest in the UK. They wanted to set up a business over here, they'd been planning on it for over three years, but decided to wait until this Brexit mess was sorted. They were hoping it wouldn't happen, but now because it is happening they've decided not to invest in a new business in the UK! This is the reality of Brexit.


Wednesday 8 January 2020

Fear



Try to learn and remember that fear is not real. Next time you're afraid, try to tell yourself that the fear is just something in your head, something you created to stop yourself from going outside your own comfort zone! This is something I'm teaching myself this year too ❤

Friday 3 January 2020

2020 - New Years Resolutions




Happy New Year everyone. 2020 has arrived and so far its been horrible. My mother was unusually sober over most of Christmas, until New Years eve, then she hit the bottle and so far she's being her usual horrible aggressive drunken self; full of the usual self pity and her hate and anger is aimed at me. 2019 was hard for me but I managed to understand myself better. I finally realised that I 'go wrong' because I try to be like everyone else, but I'm going to embrace my uniqueness. I am a misfit and I like being a misfit.

In 2019 I was diagnosed with Autism. I have kept this to myself, I'm not telling any of my family yet. I'll tell them and everyone else when I feel ready. All my life I've been called difficult and hard work, but I'm not. I just had different /unusual needs and habits. All my life I've been punished and hurt for not fitting in, for not being like everyone else, and I too have been trying to force myself to be like everyone else, but not anymore.

For 2020 I am not making any new years resolutions, other than being kinder to myself. I will also embrace myself and accept myself. I realise that Autism is more of a gift than a curse. Sure I have a few annoying habits and rituals, but they don't affect anyone but me. I also do a couple of repetitive things like walking back and fore, which may look a little strange, but it calms me, its called 'stimming'. But because my mind/brain processes things differently, this for me is a good thing. As a child I had a photographic memory, the trauma from Complex PTSD has affected this, but part of my memory is still brilliant. I also have a very high IQ which is a good thing. My only tricky areas are I have zero sense of direction for some reason, and I have heightened senses (light, sound, touch, taste etc...etc..). This is why I didn't like hugs or being touched as a child, and probably why I've never had a relationship with anyone. So for 2020 I will be kinder to myself. I hope everyone else will be kinder to themselves too.