Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Life gets worse

Lisa-Lee's life got a lot more difficult before it got any better! Lisa-Lee's mothers' drink problem gradually became worse and the families financial situation became more grim, her parents almost had their house taken off them twice, and the family debts kept on mounting up, the stress level were extreme, and this lead to both parents drinking and fighting more, but unfortunately for Lisa-Lee she was in the middle of it all, and usually had the blame for all the family difficulties. Lisa-Lee had to put up with violence from both parents during their drunken rages, this lead to Lisa-Lee becoming more sensative and unsure of herself; at a time when Lisa-Lee should of been getting to know herself and grow in confidence, she was becoming more with- drawn from everyday life and people, she was a loner who was gradually becoming more and more isolated as she was getting older.

Life did not improve for Lisa-Lee, to get away from the fights in the home she would walk the streets, sometimes sleeping rough for a night, and sometimes sleeping in the garage, she would do anything to get away from her family, as she was having the blame for everything; at a very young age Lisa-Lee had no friends and no one loved her or took care of her.

During the time when Lisa-Lee would walk the streets she met someone who befriended her, he listened to her and Lisa-Lee believed he was a friend; but this was not the case, in actual fact Lisa-Lee was being groomed by a paedophile, so he and his group could abuse her. It was during this abuse that Lisa-Lee discovered she was different, but she was so confused with life and she was suffering from very bad depressions, she just never questioned anything; all Lisa-Lee wanted from life was to die! Lisa-Lee regularly prayed to god to die, she believed that even god didn't want her, as he kept her alive. Lisa-Lee says that most of the abuse from the paedophiles was violence, but as she got older she realised that sex had very little to do with this type of abuse, as it's about control and fear. The peadophiles would sell Lisa-Lee to each other for 10p, they also kept telling Lisa-Lee that they had infected her with HIV and aids and she was going to die, this threat and fear never left Lisa-Lee's head.

Lisa-Lee saw no end to her torment, life was a dark cold lonely place, and due to Lisa-Lee being so isolated from everyone and having no friends, this then lead to her being badly bullied in school, the older she got the worse the bullying became; it got so bad that Lisa-Lee would regularly get kicked, punched in the head and spat at in the face, along with being called all sorts of names; the older Lisa-Lee became the less masculine she became, as she was really female, so this made the bullying worse, especially as she attended an all boys comprehensive school, the pupils made her life a living hell, but it wasn't just the boys, it was also some of the staff; but on top of that when Lisa-Lee might of been walking up the shops she'd have the bullies brothers and sisters screaming things at her, and sometines the bullies parents would join in! This was because Lisa-Lee lived in a rough area, she was a shy, sensative, caring person who was a loner by nature. The advice that Lisa-Lee was given by staff at her school was to take up boxing and fight the bullies, even though the school had a policy that you'd be suspended if you were caught fighting! This was the advice given to Lisa-Lee by the head master of her school. Lisa-Lee was a gentle person, she'd been through enough violence of her own, she didn't want to go arounding hitting people, because she never wanted to hurt anyone, as she knew what it was like to experience violence. Lisa-Lee just wanted to die!

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