Part Two of Lisa-Lee's first ever radio interview!

This is the second half of Lisa-Lee's first ever radio interview with the legendary presenter John Peel for his BBC radio 4 programme.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=0NIuDtIaSXw

Lisa-Lee has been trying to educate people about intersex medical conditions for many years, to try to educate them and create more acceptance and understanding of these conditions, for herself and other people with these conditions and their families. Lisa-Lee still has to suffer attacks from small minded, uneducated and disturbed people.

On Christmas day  (2014), Lisa-Lee had to deal with one of the worst attacks she's had to deal with in quite a while, some yob threw 2 powerful fireworks at her, this could of resulted in seriously damaging Lisa-Lee and permanently disfiguring her, or at worse, it could of killed her! Luckily the fireworks missed Lisa-Lee and her bins caught fire instead! If they had hit her, she'd of been on fire! This is because Lisa-Lee was born with a rare medical condition, she didn't choose to be made different, but the person who threw fireworks at her did have a choice, and he chose to try to badly burn or kill her because he is small minded, sick and disturbed!

If you don't understand about something, ask questions and never assume!

Lisa-Lee's first ever radio interview!

As Lisa-Lee gets ready for her comeback to the music industry in 2015, we decided to share a rare gift with you. We have managed to get our hands on a copy of Lisa-Lee's first ever radio interview. This was for BBC radio 4 with the legenary British presenter John Peel. This is the first half of that interview, we will publish/post the second half of the interview later in the week.

We would also like to wish all the fans a merry Christmas and happy holidays!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=VH2FZ8p8uFY

In memory of the children of Peshawar / Pakistan

This post is dedicated to the memory of the children and all the victims of the Pakistani school massacre in Peshawar. No one has the right to harm anybody else's child. A child is a gift from Allah, and no one has the right to harm it.

There was so many people attacking Islam, the Qur'an and the Prophet Mohammad pbuh when they heard about the incident in Australia; but not one of those people have commented on the innocent Muslim children murdered in Pakistan, who were murdered by extremists. All I read is why aren't Muslims speaking out, but I know lots and lots of Muslims who were speaking out, but everyone decided not to listen to them.

If the IRA or the KKK, or even a disturbed Christian man kills or hurts someone, and he says he did it because God told him to, would it be fine for you to attack Jesus pbuh and all Christians? No! Simply because you know that these people do not represent the faith, they have a sick twisted extreme view of it, that is what an extremist is. What people fail to understand is, the minute they attack all Muslims and Islam because of the actions of the extremists, is the very moment when they are helping the extremists! They are playing into their hands; the extremists love this because it helps them recruit and brainwash young impressionable Muslims.

Islam is a peaceful religion, and it is mainly Muslims who are the victims of the extremists because they are trying to stop them. Before anyone comments about a religion, they should first of all spend some time trying to find out about it, by speaking with scholars and studying the Qur'an.

May all the victims of Peshawar / Pakistan rest in peace. To Allah we belong and to Allah we return!

Letting go!

Why don't you take my hand
So we can walk around the park
Let's watch the autumn leaves fall to the ground
While we listen to the children's laughter in the distance
And we watch the early autumn's sunset
While feeling the cold wind blow on our faces.

Why don't you sit down in your comfy chair
And sip on a cup of hot coco
Let's ponder on days gone past
Remembering how life was and how life is
Let's talk about the good and bad
And remember it all with great pride.
Knowing how far it helped us travel.

Why don't you lay down
And tell me for one last time
The places you've been and all the different people you've met
Let's relive the past just one more time
Before we have to go and travel on different paths.

Why don't you lay down and rest your eyes
You've been on a long hard journey
With so many battles and hardships overcome
Why don't you lay down and let go
Knowing that you'll always be here with us
As we carry you forward in our hearts.

Let's lay down for one last time
And know it's OK to let go
Don't be afraid of falling asleep and drifting away
Because for what we are about to lose
Will be heaven's gain
We are all born to die
But death isn't the end, it is the start.

Please ignore the tears that fall upon you
As I kiss you goodbye one last time
I know that for now we have to part
But all I'll have to do is look up to the stars in the sky
And close my eyes to see your face and feel your embrace
But I know we have to say goodbye
Because heaven's waiting for their angel to go home!

You're never alone.

Today is the funeral of my beautiful and brave friend and American granny Maryann Hillman, may you rest in peace.

Let all your memories  (of Maryann) hold you close, no matter where you are, you're never alone, because the ones you love the most are never far away, they're clinging onto the pieces of your broken heart, keeping you alive and loved, in their special protective embrace, as angels sent from above.

Rest in peace Maryann 

May your memory be a blessing 

To Allah we belong and to Allah we return! 

Maryann Hillman

This post is dedicated to Maryann Hillman who died on Friday. There are no real words to say except thank you for your warmth, understanding, kindness and advice. The best part of 2014 was getting to know you, I am only sorry that we never had the chance to meet in person, even though we made plans. You will always be in my heart and I will never forget you. May you sleep well and rest in peace. I love you! I dedicate all that I do and achieve in 2015 to you!

I give you me.

Oh great fire ball in the sky
Fill my heart with love, passion and compassion
Never let me grow cold.

Oh silvery moon, so far away
Stay close and light up my night time sky
Watch over me and my loved ones
Protect them while the sun is away.

Earth underneath my feet
Keep me grounded and secure
Never let arrogance, rudeness or spite take a hold of me.

Rain that falls from the skies
Cleanse my skin and wash away my sins
So I am free to hold my head up high.

And time, do not leave me behind
Do not go too fast
Do not let life pass me by
And do not forget me when I am gone.  

And to my beloved, wherever you may be
I give you everything that I have
I give you me!

Music, me and my career

Growing up most of my career and life has been focused on music,  so everybody assumes that my main passion in life is music, but they are wrong, very wrong!

Music has been important to me, although it wasn't my planned career, music just became my career by accident. It was more so a hobby that I loved; but on a deeper level it was also therapy for me. I used music to let go of some of my pain. Music was my release.

My main passion was in film making; writing and developing films, even a bit of acting. Now my music career is coming to an end, it is time I started to focus on my main passion in life. Films!

My music career may last several more years, who knows? I have always kept pushing with my music career, even when it became difficult because I knew it was a way into my main career path; but as I begin to 'recover' from my past, and put everything right, I need to move away from the limbo I have been living in for so very long. Here's to future projects!

Broken

I want to break free from my past
I want to let go of all the pain, sadness and misery
I want to breathe in life and live
I want to find my wings and escape
I want to fly away and never have to cry again
I want the pain to end before I do
I want to find some where to belong
I want to find the person I belong to
I don't want to be surrounded by people who ignore & loathe me
I don't want to be isolated anymore
I want to be with someone who wants me
I want to be wanted
I want to be loved and feel safe
I want my nightmares to end
I want the pain of today to become my yesterday
And for this to happen I have to admit and say out loud
"I am broken"!
All the people around me have broken me
But I will fix myself, then I will run and run and keep on running, until I can fly!

Love

My aching heart can't  take the pain anymore
It is withering away waiting for  death to call its name
Each night I hear my heart cry out
"Let me die", "let me die"
I am  alone and invite the ferrymen who transport shadows
To take me away
Let my body burn and my ashes fly away to poison this Earth
My soul has no value while I'm  living  under a shadow.

Love is the only thing that brings in the light and heals a dying heart
Love doesn't  hurt, if it hurts, then it is not love you feel
You are feeling  the shadow of love
The shadow of  love is the great deceiver
He lets you think he is love but tears you apart
He promises you fame, fortune and all that you desire
While draining your body of love
He doesn't  give, he only takes
He is a demon of the night.

Pure love heals, repairs and gives new life
Like a gush of cool wind on a hot summers day
Allah is the source of  all pure love
Only through  Him can you  find real pure unconditional  love!

They stole my soul

They stole my soul And dumped me in the hole My dreams got frozen As my death was chosen My thoughts were imprisoned And my flesh was poisoned The air we share was full of gas So I hold my breath, hoping for death As I get told "you're in the hold" Which made me gasp in despair Because I can't breath this air I'm a mole in this hole with no soul

By Mohammad S Arafat

Do not hug me!

Do not hug me, I don't deserve it.
Do not touch me, I am diseased and unclean.
Do not smile at me, I am hideous and ugly.
Do not let your heart sink if you see me
Instead let it harden with hatred for me.
Do not think of me with fondness
Only remember me with spite.
Do not be kind and gentle with me
Instead spit at me, hit me and kick me.
Do not want me, I am surely an embarrassment.
Do not love me, I was made to be hated.
Do not mourn for me when I am gone
Throw me in the trash and be glad I am no more.
Do not hug me, I do not want to feel your touch,
I don't deserve it.
I am the monster in your nightmares
And deserve to be dead!

The lonely tree

If you but knew what it meant to dream; to dream of freedom, of flowing rivers, of burning kisses, of walking and resting with a beloved, gazing at one another, eye to eye; of resting and watching the stars. If you but knew, your heart would turn to me.

If you but knew what it means to long in the lonely nights, with storms raging all around. If you could hear my silent screams of pain. If you could see the tears I shed, if you could feel my pain, I tell you, you'd long for death. If you but knew how alone I was, waiting for your call, your touch, your embrace, you'd come to me.

If you but knew what it meant to live, to feel the wind blow through your soul, if you but knew the beauty I have inside, if you but knew me, you'd long for me. If you but knew, the lonely tree is me!

Mirror!

A mirror only reveals what everyone can see, but a mirror fails to reflect the beauty within' the soul, the part of you that no one can see; the only people who see the 'real' you, are the ones you let in and the ones you touch by your actions!

A letter to Ban Ki-Moon from Gaza.

For the Desk of:

His Excellency, Mr. Ban Ki-Moon
The head of the Security Council
New York
USA

From the Desk of:

Mr. Pen
A Gazan Victim
A Palestinian citizen carries the hoarse voice of the people of Gaza to let the world hear it.

Dear Sir,
Thank you for letting me take just ten minutes from your precious time. Thank you for allowing me to have the rights to write this letter for you, your Excellency.

Dear Sir, I don`t know where to begin and even how to begin writing you this piece of words. I don`t really have enough power to let my pen write the suitable words for you, your Excellency. Dear sir, I`m a simple citizen from Gaza, Palestine like anyone lives in this stricken city, if it`s a city. We have the same pain and the same suffering. We have the same status and we all are one belongs to our widow mother Palestine.

Dear Sir, I know and everyone knows that we have the rights to speak up and to seek our stolen freedom. We have the rights to live like anyone in this world and to find our imprisoned joy. We also have the rights to breathe clear oxygen and to eat the least food. We have also the rights to travel and to study like any simple citizen. And those rights, of course, are called human rights and everyone must have them. So where are those rights? Sorry sir if I made you angry at me, but that`s because I`m forced to say that. Forgive me please.

Dear Sir, what shall we do to get our rights? What shall we do to live like others? Why are we prevented from life? Are we from another planet called a planet of strangers? Are we slaves? Why is it inevitable to live under control? All Gazans and I have many whys to ask, but my pen would be exhausted from mentioning them.

Dear Sir, I used to live, like all the families in Gaza, with my family in safe and sound under a simple home. Everything was alright and we were happy enough. But from the beginning of the current brutality on Gaza, I would never call it a war, I left my home. I left my books and my pens. I left everything that I used to live with. I left what made me happy . Why does that happen? Are we terrorists? Are we murderers? I don`t think. Dear sir, I`m sorry if my words annoyed you, your Excellency, but please let me tell you what happened with me as a Gazan like what happened with most of the families here.
Dear Sir, before leaving my home, I have seen what no one would see or even dream of. I have seen what made me sick for more than a week. Shall I tell you what I have seen and witnessed? Sorry if you don`t want to hear, but my pen forces me to mention it.

Dear Sir, I was sleeping in my bed dreaming of my prospective future, like anyone in Gaza, that I would build. I was dreaming of getting the master from any great country like USA, UK, Turkey or Malaysia. I was dreaming of how I will feed my family when I get a suitable job outside Gaza after lacking the jobs here. That beautiful dream was interrupted by my mother when she cried out a warning at me in a morning during this aggression" Wake up dear son and hurry up". I woke up directly without a thought and rushed towards my window. I slapped my forehead when I saw the massacres in front of my eyes in our street. The skies were as dark as the moonless night even if it`s day. The atmosphere was full of gunpowder, so that forced me to close my nose. The black burnt bodies of women and children were spread everywhere in that desolate street. Women where running without their babies not knowing whether they would die or live. Elders were creeping like children not finding anyone to help them. The men with their black faces were looking for their lost children under rubble. The homes all round my home were destroyed. My attention got rapt after what I have seen. Suddenly, my dad came quickly and picked me up and then we rushed towards the stream of the refugees. We began our tiring journey as others to an unknown safe shelter to stay in.

Sorry dear sir for making you sad, but I just want to know why that happens to us. Are we animals? If we are animals, I think there must be institutions for the animals` rights. If we are not animals, so who we are? Why does that happen? Sometimes I think of making suicide or hurting myself. I feel that I`m hopeless in this life here in Gaza. I feel that I have no goals from living this life. Shall I live or die? What shall I do, your Excellency? Shall I make a suicide or shall I wait? If I want to choose the second choice, until when shall I wait? What can I do? Please I need your advice, your Excellency. It`s not just me saying that, but all the families in Gaza are in the same position of suffering and even more than I suffer.

Dear Sir, I want to know when the innocent Gazans and I will achieve our dreams. Will I get the master in one of the big countries? will I get a good job? Please advise me and let me know what to do.

Dear Sir, sorry if I stayed too long writing my words. Sorry for annoying you again, your Excellency. But please let me ask you the last question that all Gazans wish to hear its answer from you, your Excellency. Dear Sir, until when will we stay under aggression? When will we get our least rights? When will we get our human rights? When will we get our stolen freedom? When will our children get their imprisoned childhood? When will they smile and live like others?

Finally, I would appreciate you, your Excellency, for paying your precious attention to my simple letter.
Thank you very much

A bunch of greets from Gaza, Palestine and its people.

Mohammad S Arafat(Mr. Pen)

Freedom

To wake up each morning, feeling blessed. Feeling the sun shining on you. Having clean drinking water, taking a shower, while listening to the birds singing enchanted love tunes; phoning family and friends telling them the joys you've planned for the coming days ahead. Walking down the street, breathing the fresh air, smiling at passers by, while secretly remembering happier times and imagining even greater times to come. Embracing life, that is what freedom is; the choice and freedom to do normal everyday things. Having the choice to be happy or sad. This is our God given right. Allah gave us free will, to be free!

Can you begin to imagine living in a world where you were imprisoned on a tiny strip of land, not having the ability to work, drink clean water, have a bath; and having no electricity for 20 hours a day. Being called a terrorist because you were born on this tiny strip of land; being shot at, bombed, robbed, prevented from doing anything, including receiving medical aid. This is what life is like for the people of Gaza.

 Lots of people call Gaza an open air prison, but it is so much worse than that. Prisoners have rights, three meals a day, learning and counselling opportunities, medical attention when needed, and not forgetting, at the end of their sentence, they get out and get their freedom back. Unlike the people of Gaza.

We are all equal, we are all the same, every life matters, every person counts. We all love and hate, cry and shout. We all bleed the same colour blood. We all need to be loved, but most importantly, we all need someone to love. I urge everyone to speak with the people of Gaza, see for yourself how kind, loving and caring they are; see how they welcome you into their hearts and family. Become part of them. Over the coming months I will be sharing the stories of a new writer from Gaza. Mohammad S Arafat. Fall in love with this beautiful young man from Gaza. Listen to his words and feel his pain, his longing, his ambitions. Like all people from Gaza, he loves life!

Beauty comes out of pain and suffering!

The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

  -C. S. Lewis.

Worthless

People need to think before they speak and act. There are so many judgmental people, but who gives them the right to judge others. Is it acceptable to make fun of a burns victim, or a cancer patient or someone with some type of abnormality. There are so many people with different types of disabilities, just because you can't see the obvious don't judge.

You do not know a persons struggles, the things they've had to fight. You do not know how heavy a persons heart is, or how much baggage they have in their life; your one rude comment, or nasty look or viciousness might be the last thing that person can take. How would you feel if someone took their own life, because you were one of a hundred people to be rude to them. How will you justify yourself on judgement day knowing that you helped a person die. If someone kills themselves because of something you said or did, it is the same as you having killed them.

Think before you speak. If someone looks different, don't act like a pack of animals, waiting to tear them apart, have respect and realise there might be a reason for that person looking or being different, and it might not be what you are so quick to judge. Remember that Allah made that person more unique than everybody else, if Allah makes someone more unique that makes them special, as Allah spent more time on them making them different from everyone else. Maybe Allah has big plans in store for that person who He made different. The person you are judging and insulting is still loved by Allah. No one has the right to add to someone else's pain, by judging other people. Before you judge another living soul, make sure you are perfect in every way!

Although life has it's challenges, it is still precious. Everyone hurts, bleeds and feels pain. Never make someone feel that they are worthless, because they may have no one to turn to, and nobody is worthless. Try to learn to be understanding and accepting, especially to people who are different. We are all human beings, it's just a shame we have to remind others from time to time. Remember, it is always the ugliest of people who judge, gossip and look down on others!

Every moment is a chance to get closer to Allah, to express the talents He has given us, and to feel the sunshine on our faces.

My letter to David Cameron. / Silence is not an option!

Dear David Cameron,

I am writing to you to find out what the UK government is doing about the situation in Gaza, and most importantly, what you are doing about Israel.

I was not only saddened today when I heard what the new Foreign secretary said, I was disgusted. He is clearly in the wrong job and needs to be replaced, as this is obviously too much for him. Saying the UN's vote for an investigation on Israel's war crimes is 'fundamentally unbalanced', and saying it would 'complicate the process by introducing unnecessary new mechanisms'. How dare this country tell someone else not to fight for and seek justice; especially when this country is partly to blame for this mess, due to its once former empire!

As we get ready to remember the 100th anniversary of the Great War, let us not forget the 'Balfour declaration' (letter), and why it is written. We didn't have the right to give away someone else's land, especially in the name of religion; as there are lots of Jewish people who don't support Israel because according to the Torah they were forbidden by God to have a homeland. They will get their homeland when their Messiah returns and gives it to them.

This government complains about Muslim extremists and says the Muslim community needs to do more to tackle the problem, then you have your foreign secretary make statements that clearly shows favouritism towards Israel, and makes people believe that you support Israel's aggression and mass murder. This type of thing will undo all the good and hard work of the Muslim community, trying to prevent extremism in the UK. Your very actions are helping the extremists radicalise more of the Muslim youth, which no one wants.

By showing any type of bias and favouritism towards Israel, you are saying you approve of their actions. To me and many other people, you are saying you support what Israel is doing, which includes the theft of Palestinian land and homes, the 'collective punishment' and their mass murder, to name just a few of the crimes that Israel is committing against the Palestinian people.

You come across as total hypocrites, especially when you compare your response to Russia and the current situation regarding the plane that was shot down. Especially when some people remember the time when the USA shot down an Iranian civilian airliner, over Iranian airspace, resulting in killing all 290 on board, including 66 children, and then refused to apologise for it. Did the UK call for all sorts of sanctions against the USA then?

I can fully understand that the UK is in a difficult position, especially when everyone considers Hamas a terrorist organisation, but they were democratically elected by the people of Gaza. When Israel says they are the smallest and only democracy in the Middle East, they are wrong (and lying, yet again), because that title would go to Gaza. You cannot assassinate democratically elected people, just because you don't like them or their beliefs, especially if you are calling yourself a fair democracy. Israel has to communicate and talk to Hamas, as Gaza elected them, this is something the UK government should know, due to its own problems in Northern Ireland and the IRA. Change can only happen through dialogue.

Some MP's have been repeating the Israeli lies, saying they are only defending themselves and, Israel has the right to defend itself! We the public (well a lot of us), are not stupid, we are aware of the propaganda and lies and we refuse to listen to them, as we can see what they are. What Israel is doing can not be called 'defending itself'! The Iron dome is defending Israel; in reality Israel is 'attacking' Gaza because it is Gaza who is trying to defend itself against Israel. Gaza has had to put up with Israeli air strikes since April, the IDF also killed two Palestinian teenagers who were just walking in the street, this was captured on video, then the three Israeli teenagers were killed, but Israel lied about that and claimed they had been kidnapped when they knew the boys had been killed, but that didn't stop Israel from lying to the world, and in response to the three Israeli teenagers who Israel said had been kidnapped, they used this as an excuse to arrest hundreds of Palestinians, beat them up and torture them, smash up people homes, pretending to look for three kidnapped Israeli's, they rearrested prisoners who had been released, they killed several more Palestinians, and this was before Gaza started firing any rockets into Israel. Then a young Palestinian boy got kidnapped beaten and burnt to death, by Jewish extremists; so just how is Israel defending itself?

The other part to this story is; Israel claimed they had two suspects wanted in connection with the three Israeli teenagers, and due to their policy of 'collective punishment', they blow up the homes of the families of the two suspects, even though they hadn't been charged or convicted on any crime. What type of justice is 'collective punishment'? Also, the three Israeli teenagers who were sadly murdered, were killed in the Israeli controlled part of Palestine/Israel, so it was down to Israel to make sure the area was safe, it wasn't even the responsibility of the Palestinian authority. There are far too many unanswered questions about those murders, most people would ask, why an earth would they be hitchhiking, but it is common in that part of Israel, and the boys would of known the rules, they would never of risked getting into a car with non Jewish people.

Under international law Gaza is still occupied by Israel, even though in 2005 they moved 8,000 settlers out, and moved 14,000 more settlers into the West Bank. Israel still controls Gaza's borders (along with Egypt). Israel also controls Gaza's coast, airspace, water supply (which is unfit for human consumption), they control Gaza's electricity supply (which it regularly cuts off), and they control Gaza's imports, exports and even their food calorie intake. Israel charges tax on anything that it does let into Gaza, and they don't allow all the aid to get in, this is inhumane, and it is unacceptable.

It is very wrong of this government to show any sort of support towards Israel and its actions. Israel has broken 77 UN resolutions, and sadly this country still shows support towards Israel. Saddam Hussein broke just 2 UN resolutions and this country went to war and has helped in destroying Iraq.

Did you see the protests in London and all over the UK and not forgetting the world. People have had enough of Israel's aggression and abuse of power. These demonstrations have so far been peaceful (thankfully), but this anger people have will soon turn to rage and even hate, and this government supporting Israel will only add more fuel to the fire, and it won't be long before the peaceful protests start turning into riots. We the people have had enough of witnessing these barbaric crimes. When you have the foreign secretary telling the Palestinian people not to seek justice, it makes the public angry. Any form of injustice, abuse of power or corruption, or even war crimes, must be investigated and justice must happen. This country should be doing all it can to support justice.

Every life is important and precious, no matter what your religion. Not one innocent life should be taken or harmed, and to describe someone as 'collateral damage' is beyond offensive, it is an obscene thing to say. Israel pays students to spread their propaganda online and attack anyone trying to raise awareness of these crimes, but who do the Palestinians have helping them? Who is there for the people of Gaza, it clearly isn't this government by your actions so far. All those innocent victims who have been murdered by Israel, they have lost their voices, and all the victims who are currently suffering, their voices are not being heard even though they are crying out for help, and some are screaming out for our help! We, the people, have a moral duty to give them a voice, to show them they matter and their lives are important. We will get judged on what is happening out there because we are witnesses to these barbaric crimes; remaining silent is not an option!

You cannot say Israel is not targeting innocent civilians, because they obviously are, why else would they murder 4 young boys playing football on a beach? Why would they blow up a block of flats killing dozens of people, when they were only after one person? Why would they bomb a café, killing people who were watching the world cup? Why would they bomb hospitals and ambulances? Why did they drop gas bombs on these civilians? Why did they use white phosphorus gas on them, which is illegal under international law if it is used on civilians. I could go on and on and on, but in the end, it is obvious why they are doing all the above, because they want to kill as many people as they possibly can; because this is 'collective punishment', and these people are being punished because they are resisting and standing up to Israel! Collective punishment is sick and disgusting.

I, as a British citizen (subject), want to know, what this government is doing about this continuing abuse of power being committed by Israel. Please don't say you are 'strongly' talking to them, because that clearly isn't working. This country needs you to publicly say that Israel's actions are unjust, wrong and this country does not support it in any way what so ever! You also need to show that you mean this by showing some sort of support towards the Palestinian people who are suffering from these crimes; like encouraging them to seek justice and (or) helping them become an independent state. This country needs to clean up its own mess, as this has been going on since the end of the second world war, and it is wrong and needs to be stopped! It goes against everything that is British and everything that Great Britain stands for. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.

Yours sincerely,

LISA LEE DARK.

A moral duty and a voice!

There are so many truly horrible images coming out of Gaza, but every now and then, there are these simple little images that affect you the most. For me, this is one of them. This image made me cry. What has this beautiful innocent little boy done to deserve to be killed? Why does Israel see him as a threat, is Israel now safer because he is dead? Who did he hurt? Why is Israel saying it is defending itself from him, what possible damage could he have done. Look at him with his little Mickey Mouse t-shirt on, the way his legs are, this could be a baby from any part of the world, any western country. His precious innocent little life has been taken. He wasn't given a chance, his voice has been taken away from him!

This is how we help. It feels wrong to put pictures of dead children or other victims, it feels like you are being disrespectful; but sadly we have to use these images to show the world the injustice, to hopefully bring them justice! We may not of known them when they were alive, but we experience and mourn them through their death.

Their voices have been taken away and we have a moral duty to help them get justice and show them and the rest of the world, they do matter, their life was important, they are human and they are loved! Sadly the only way we are able to help them, is by sharing their death! And by giving them our voices! Israel may have silenced them, but they can't silence us, and we must shout for them, protest in any way we can, try to show the world what is going on, and even make our governments do something, to show they represent us. Never be quiet while this is going on, and never be put off by any bullying or aggression you come across. Stand up for the innocent victims and give them the voice they need, and deserve!

Collective punishment gone mad!

This little Palestinian boy from Gaza, just lost his father. He doesn't care about politics, land or religion; he doesn't understand greed, corruption or murder. He just wants his daddy back!

So far, the deaths is Gaza are 176. On Tuesday there were 24 deaths. Wednesday there were 37 deaths. Thursday there were 24 deaths. Friday there were 27 deaths. Saturday there were 52 deaths, and so far on Sunday, there have been 12 deaths in Gaza. This is collective punishment gone mad, it must stop, it has to stop! This treatment of people is inhumane! Here is a link to see all the names and ages of the dead.  http://imemc.org/article/68429

When will the suffering end?

I write this post for Mohammed Abu Khdeir! He was the teenager who was kidnapped, beaten and burnt to death in Israel; a revenge attack for the killing of the three Israeli boys. My heart breaks when I think how much Mohammed must of suffered. I saw the pictures of his dead body, and they were shocking! How can someone do this to another person. He must of been so terrified, and he would of died in agony. He was beaten, covered in petrol, he even had petrol poured down his throat, then he was set alight! There are no words to describe this act! Just look how small he was, he was tiny!

People need to come together to give a bigger voice to the peace makers, it seems that it is always the extremists who are getting heard, we need to stop this and let the people of peace be heard. All these brutal acts, are not in the name of God! No religion is behind them! The hero's are not the fighters, the real hero's are the peacemakers, and the people who work hard to get peace, and the people who help others in need. Everyone who thinks there is glory in war and fighting, you are wrong! Very wrong. Wars only bring death, destruction, misery and more suffering, it is not the way to peace. The same can be said about revenge; in the end, it just becomes an endless cycle of killing and destruction. The way to peace is through, coming together and forgiveness!

I pray for Mohammed, may that beautiful boy rest in peace, away from all the crap of constant fighting. Quite often the problem with politics, is the politicians! R.I.P Mohammed Abu Khdeir!

Every life is precious! I pray for an end to the killings!
 

Eyal, Gilad and Naftali

Growing up I always supported Israel, believing in them, and believing that all Muslims were crazy. Then I spent time getting to understand Islam, and I spent time getting to know some Muslims, and I discovered that they were nice, kind, generous people.

Then Israel went into Gaza and I saw all the terrible pictures of the innocent children getting hurt, and that made me become angry and very critical of Israel and Jewish people. Even though I always kept telling myself that there is good and bad, and right and wrong on both sides; I only seemed to focus on the negative side of Israel. Which was wrong of me, and for that I apologise. I had stopped listening to the people of Israel. I just saw things as black and white, even though I know from my own life, things never are black or white.

In my defense, I did try to speak to Jewish people but I found them unwilling to chat, they'd just say what they wanted to say and that's it, I found them closed off and I believe that can be part of the problem; although to be fair and in their defense, I am sure they have most likely been criticized and attacked by so many people, they just put walls up to keep you out.

I did have one Israeli man who chatted with me and befriend me, but he had very strong opinions to which I found shocking, even a bit upsetting. His name was Moti and although he could be a pain, he was very knowledgeable and when he wasn't insulting me for taking an interest in Islam, he was a very nice person who I grew to like! I enjoyed our discussions, he really pushed and tested me on my own knowledge about things. In the end I had to block Moti, because I was going through a stressful time and I found him too hard to deal with; plus I was only listening to one side of the Israel/Palestine argument/discussion; which was very wrong of me! I have even recently found myself missing Moti and his comments. Even though his beliefs were strong and sometimes shocking to me, he was willing to be open and talk about things.

The main thing that has opened my eyes and ears is the terrible event with the kidnapping and murder of the three young Israeli Jewish boys. Eyal Yifrah, Naftali Frankel and Gilad Shaer were three beautiful young men/boys! Who had their whole lives ahead of them; what happened to them was shameful, disgusting and wrong!

When I first heard that they'd been kidnapped I didn't pay too much attention. I believed that Israel was this strong country with a huge invincible army, so I believed these boys will be found in no time. Then when I heard that the boys had been killed, my heart sank. I realised that Israel and the Jewish people were just as vulnerable as the rest of us.

I found myself wanting to send my condolences and offer my prayers for the boys, their family and friends, and the people of Israel; so I went to the groups of people I'd been listening to and I was completely shocked and saddened by what I was reading and seeing. All these people were saying such vile, nasty, horrible things; I then found myself defending the boys and Israel and Jewish people! I realised that these people who I'd been listening to, weren't kind, caring peaceful people, they were anti-peace, anti-Israel and anti-Jewish. Then it hit me; I remembered Moti and his Pro-Israel strong views, maybe his views weren't as strong as I thought? The people I was listening to weren't just Pro-Palestine, they were the opposite end of Moti and their views were just as strong as Moti', but they weren't just Pro-Palestine, they were antisemitic   and I felt ashamed of myself. I had been listening and repeating some of their hate. How could I say I wanted peace, when I was becoming a hypocrite.

When ever I saw a dead or hurt Palestinian, I would get upset thinking this is wrong, this is so cruel and sometimes, this is such a waste of a beautiful life; and when I saw the three Israeli boys, I felt the same feelings, thinking this is so very wrong and so sad. Eyal, Gilad and Naftali were human beings, they were their mothers babies, they were cherished and loved by people. Their deaths were just as sad and shocking as the Palestinians deaths; all life is precious!

From all the hate I was reading, I started seeing things from the point of view of Israeli's. How do you think it looks to them if you show no compassion for one of their losses? They think you are uncaring, brutal, non peaceful and full of hate. If you want Israeli Jewish people to listen to you, then you have to show them that you are kind, caring, generous, peace loving/wanting; and prove that you don't take pleasure in hurting other people, and you don't want to harm all of them!

Hate is a seed that we plant, in ourselves and others; it has the ability to grow and spread but only if it is being watered. We must treat hate like a weed and pull it out by the root, before it spreads through us like a cancer.

When it came to light that the three Israeli boys had been killed, what we should of done was come together and show compassion, respect and love. Do not make the mistake of thinking Israel and the Israeli people are all bad; there is right and wrong, good and bad on both sides, no one is completely innocent or completely guilty. For peace to come, there must be forgiveness, if you want peace, you have to see the good in others and the wrong in yourselves.

The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we are alive, don't let the hate consume you because it will kill you from the inside! In every shadow there is light. In every tear there is a smile; in every hurting heart, there is hope. In death, there is still life, for a person is only really dead if they are forgotten.

I offer my condolences to the family and friends of Eyal, Gilad and Naftali, and to Israel and all the Jewish people who mourn their loss.  R.I.P  Eyal Yifrah, Naftali Frankel and Gilad Shaer.

Time

The greatest gift you can give someone is your time; because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back.

Who is Muhammad (pbuh)?

Who is Muhammad (pbuh)?

He is the one who gave us all rights.
He is the one who protected men's, women's and children's rights.
He is the one who raised the value of women (despite what some people think).
He is the one who protected the rights of our neighbours.
He is the one who established a peaceful relationship between Muslims and non-Muslims.
He is the one who connected all the monotheistic faiths (belief in one God).
He is the one who taught us how to respect all the other Prophets like, Adam, Noah, Abraham and Moses (pbut).
He is the one who taught us who the great Prophet Jesus (pbuh) was, and why he was sent; and he taught us that the virgin birth was true!
He is the one who taught us all how to respect the Messiah Jesus (pbuh) and his mother Mary.
He is the one who taught us the truth about Christianity and its basic mistake; he taught us not to confuse ourselves with the trinity; it makes no sense because it is wrong! Jesus (pbuh) is not the 'son' of God, but he is the Messiah and he is a great Prophet in Islam.
He is the one who taught us not to feel guilty about the crucifixion and death of the Prophet Jesus (pbuh); because the Jews did not kill him like everyone thinks.
He is the one who taught us Allah keeps his word, and he taught us that no harm came to the Prophet Jesus (pbuh)
He is the one that taught us Allah is the best of planners.
He is the one that taught us Allah is merciful and kind.
He is the one who taught us that the Torah, Gospels and Psalms were all sent from Allah.
He is the one that organised the relationship between the members of the family, and he revealed the duties towards the parents.
He is the one who prevented injustice and called for justice, peace, respect, love, togetherness and co-operation for all.
He is the one who called for helping the needy, visiting the sick, feeding the hungry and helping the orphans.
He is the one who taught us how to clean our bodies ready for prayer, ready to present ourselves to Allah.
He is the one who taught us how to pray properly, how to pray like the great Prophets of yesterday (Jesus, Moses, Abraham (pbut)). We all pray the same way.
He is the one that prohibited bad manners, and other things like, stealing, lying, murdering, gossiping, committing adultery and drinking alcohol.
He is the one that taught us children have rights to feel safe, respected, well looked after, encouraged, cared for and loved.
He is the one who taught us we are allowed to defend ourselves.
He is the one that set very strict rules about war and killing.
He is the one who taught us how to be kind, caring, respectful, forgiving, gentle, good people.
In a nut shell, Muhammad (pbuh) is the one that united a world.........


A true Muslim doesn't steal.
A true Muslim doesn't lie.
A true Muslim prays 5 times a day.
A true Muslim doesn't drink alcohol.
A true Muslim doesn't commit adultery.
A true Muslim doesn't cheat.
A true Muslim tries his best to help the needy.
A true Muslim never judges another person, as he knows Allah may have already forgiven that person for the sin they committed.
A true Muslim doesn't look down on anyone, as they know that person maybe better than himself to Allah.
A true Muslim doesn't gossip about people; back biting is a huge sin in Islam.
A true Muslim doesn't kill innocent people; as the word of Allah is; 'if you kill one innocent person, it is the same as killing all of humanity, likewise, if you save a life, 'it is the same as saving all of humanity to Allah'.
A true Muslim doesn't harm his neighbour.
A true Muslim obeys his parents and helps them (provided it is in keeping with the word of Allah).
A true Muslim is kind and gentle to young people and the elderly.
A true Muslim is kind, good, gentle, caring, respectful, committed, devoted, protective and loving to his/her wife/husband.
A true Muslim doesn't torture or harm humans or animals (yes, even animals have rights in Islam).
A true Muslim wife loves and cares for her husband (the provider and head of the family) with all of her heart; she knows that he is a gift from Allah, and she has to love him more than his own mother does; she provides him with children, taking care of them and looking after the home, and tending to her husbands needs; she is devoted to him for the rest of her life and beyond (in'sha'Allah).
A true Muslim husband loves and takes care of his wife for the rest of her life, he knows she is a gift to him from Allah. He (Allah) created her for him to love. The husband treats his wife with gentleness, respect, love and kindness; he becomes her protector, strength, security, parental figure, guider, counsellor and most importantly, he becomes her best friend. He takes care of her and all his children and shows mercy towards them all (equally), until the last day of his life.
A true Muslim's relationship towards his/her children never stops, even when they become adults. They know that their children were gifts from Allah!

True Muslims are good, kind hearted, generous, respectful, peaceful, caring, loving and happy people, despite what the media says!

Album(s) update

To keep everyone informed and updated, the two dates that have been penciled in for the new release date of the album, is either late July or September; a decision will be made in the next few weeks and we will keep you all posted.

Additional information; it looks like Lisa-Lee will definitely be releasing two albums. The original one scheduled, 'Fragile / memories', and the 2009 EP that got pulled at the last minute. The 2009 release was titled, "Almost nothing", this EP will be extended and released as a full album. More details will follow soon.

 

Fajr / Fajer

To start a new day Allah lifts the sun to bring us warmth and light. He does the same with our hearts and souls while we perform Fajr.

I pray Allah keeps pouring his warmth, light, love and sunshine into everyone's heart and soul as we perform Fajr, every single day.

*** Fajr is the first prayer of the day performed by Muslims. ***

I am so tired!

Why do I waste my time waiting for something that will never happen? Why do I keep upsetting myself and neglecting myself in the hope my family will become a family and accept me, and even treat me the same way my sisters are treated? Why am I even there?

I am so tired; tired of being ignored, unwanted and insulted behind my back. I am tired of all the lies that my parents say to me, lies about what they're doing, what they've got, what they've given to others and where they've been. They lie to me so they can leave me out of things, they nearly always leave me behind and ignore me; but every now and then I am expected to 'pretend' and play 'happy family' and lie as we aren't!

I am tired of the mind games and having them hold me back. I am tired of asking them to help me and in return have them do the opposite, making my work or problem ten times harder. I am tired of having to find the strength to 'get up' and carry on, and most importantly, I am tired of myself; tired of not being selfish or strong enough to look after myself. I am also tired of other people's rudeness, treating me and looking at me like I am a piece of dirt, something they've just stepped in! I am tired of being weak and not having an aggressive nasty side!

I have to accept things will never change; my family do what they do out of habit. They have neglected me, been abusive, destructive and un-supportive toward me for so long, they most probably don't realise they are doing it, it is just natural for them to treat me as they do. They treat me like the enemy! For as long as I am with them they will continue to hold me back and suffocate me; not with love, but with hate and destruction. In life it is so much easier to 'blame' someone else for all your troubles, pass all your unhappiness onto them; but I am stronger than I realise.

I feel like I am a caged animal, but with inner strength I have the ability to change my life and my circumstances; to free myself! The first steps for me to take to become independent and free are dealing with my weight and my career. These are little things that I can do to help myself, and by doing these little things, I will be able to feel better and gradually free myself and start a new beginning. I just pray that I am strong enough!

I have to accept that my family will never help me or accept me, and they will always try to hold me back, because it gives them a reason to insult me to others, a reason to ignore me and a reason to blame me for all their problems; but I have the power to end it all and break away to start a new beginning.

Although I am a loner and enjoy my own company, I do at times get 'lonely'. Growing up I wasn't allowed to go out with friends or even have any friends; I had to look after my mother and younger sister. I did have a couple of friends but none were close friends. I still to this day find it extremely hard to let anyone get close to me, I try to avoid people as I find it hard to trust anyone. My family and so many other people have hurt me so badly and it has happened so many times, I just find it easier to be by myself; but I am hoping that one day that will change, I also hope that sometime in the future I will mean something to someone; one day I hope I will get to experience what 'real love' feels like.

For that to happen I have to help myself and make changes. From today I will try my hardest to lose the weight, I have several stone that I need to desperately lose, this will benefit my health and overall appearance. I can show people including my family that I am not worthless; I am not dirt; I am a person, a human being with a heart and feelings; and most importantly, I am tired of being tired!

Unfinished Masterpieces

When Allah created things He did it with total love and perfection! Just look at the galaxy, milky way and solar system, such images are truly breathtaking; the same with certain areas and locations, sometimes we look at things and just think wow! We can see such beauty in them, but sadly most people don't see the same beauty in themselves or others.

When Allah created us he put the same amount of love and care into creating each one of us, that is why we are all so different and unique, he put the same amount of love into us as he did when he created and shaped the universe. Whenever you feel down just picture something truly beautiful, and just pause and think that creation is one of Allah's masterpieces, just like you are!

To Allah we must be like unfinished masterpieces; because his love for us was so great he gave us complete freedom to do whatever we wanted. We can either destroy the beauty that Allah put in us, or we can re-arrange it, to shine so brightly; it is as if He gave us a billion stars and said, 'do what you will with them'.

We all need to shine, to show Allah how grateful we are for the gift He gave us, which is life! But the stars in the night sky are no good without a moon, a beautiful moon can increase the beauty in the stars, to help them shine and stand out more; so Allah created for us a partner (husband or wife); they are your moon, to help brighten up the darkness and help increase the beauty of the stars, which are you!

 

Pope Francis appeal

On Ash Wednesday, the day I took my shahadah, the FOSMA delivered an open letter to Pope Francis, signed by over 200 bishops, clergy and members of religious orders, asking the Pope to speak out against the targeting and systematic abuse of Palestinian children by the Israeli military. Please could you add your name to the petition in support of the open letter.

The signatures will be delivered to the Pope before his visit to the Holy lands in May (24-26). I was the 5,999th signature on the petition. Anybody can sign this petition regardless of your faith, in fact the organizers of this petition are encouraging people of all faith groups to support this letter/appeal.

If the link doesn't work, please just copy and paste it into a 'Google' search, it should take you straight to the petition.

http://org.salsalabs.com/o/641/p/dia/action3/common/public/?action_KEY=15218

Easter

Although Easter is now over, this is the first year that I haven't been a Catholic and celebrated (took part in) Easter. I have to say how shocked and sad I have been at the total lack of respect, and the huge amount of disrespect that has been shown to the Prophet Jesus (pbuh).

The words of love and kindness, and the teachings of Jesus (pbuh) will always remain in my heart, they will never leave me, even as I embrace another religion, Islam. People do not understand how closely Islam and Christianity are linked, there isn't a huge difference, if you are Christian, I urge you to read the truth about the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), and the Qur'an, but have an educated person there to explain the meanings in the Qur'an.

I am using this 'post' to make it clear that the love I have for Jesus (pbuh) is still with me and it always will be. I just see Jesus (pbuh) in a slightly different way.

Hiccup

Today is Lisa-Lee Dark's birthday, she says she thinks of her birthday as, 'Surviving another year'! There has also been a hiccup, slight delay in Lisa-Lee's return to the music industry, as she has been having vocal trouble. Her tonsils are far too big and it is highly likely that they will have to be removed, this could damage Lisa-Lee's voice, it may be the end of her singing career.


There is a possibility that her throat problems could be more serious, Lisa-Lee is waiting to see a specialist, but fingers crossed it will just be her tonsils. We will keep you posted and updated on everything!

Paradise

If Allah can make things this beautiful on Earth, how can we even begin to imagine the beauty of Heaven (Paradise). It is simply beyond our understanding!

Shahadah

Ash hadu an laa ilaaha illallaah, wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan rasool-ullaah.

I bear witness that there is no God worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah

As I take Shahadah today I pray that Allah lets me devote my life, love, work, happiness and achievements all to Him and His perfect religion! I also pray for everyone who has guided and helped me along my journey to peace, love and happiness! In'sha'Allah He will reward you all.

Allah is Beautiful! Allah loves beauty!

For me the Qur'an isn't just teaching me about Allah and how to be a better person; it is also teaching me about myself. Who I am and how I should be. All the things that I thought I needed, I know now that I don't. All the things that I craved and wanted, I no longer need. Although it will take me a little while to put things right and get on the 'straight path'. In'sha'Allah I am going to get there.

If you want your life to improve the first step you need to take is to really look at yourself, and then make the changes that are needed to improve your life.

Invisible

Life can be such a sad lonely place when you are alone and unwanted. Everybody needs to belong to someone or something. Everyone needs to have at least one person who will listen to them, or at least take some sort of interest in them. If you have no one, then you are more or less invisible.

Growing up I felt invisible most of the time. Not all of the time because I was acknowledged from time to time, but that was usually to have the blame for something going missing or something going wrong. Everything bad that happened was my fault. Most of the time I was ignored, but I had to constantly listen to how 'perfect' my sisters were, in my parents eyes. They were constantly having things, if not material things, it was with praise for something that they had done or achieved.

Growing up, if my mother was drinking or about to start drinking; her vicious tongue would come out; if she knew I was sensitive about something, she'd bring it up and twist it until it upset me; she often told me she wished she'd had an abortion instead of having me; or she'd expect me to be hugely grateful for the fact that she hadn't aborted me; deep down I wish she had aborted me; it would of been better. When my mother was drunk, she wanted to hurt someone, it was usually me, she loved seeing me in tears. The words always hurt so much more than any of the violence.

My father was just as bad in drink. He was a cruel twisted violent drunk; his tongue was just as bad as my mothers, but obviously his fists hurt more, but I learnt to take the pain, but I could never toughen up from the words. They cut the deepest. My father would often tell me how useless I was; he told me he expected more from me, he expected me to be good at Maths and science, but instead I was good at history, English, drama and music. He told me I was a big disappointment and unimportant to him. When I was sixteen he told me that as far as he was concerned I was as dead to him as his own mother, she had just died the week before; and as far as he was concerned the only people he was interested in or cared about were my sisters. Neither of them are his biological children, I am his only biological child.

All I ever heard from my parents was how horrible and bad I was, how useless I was and how amazing my sisters were. My father has never said anything nice to me, never said well done for achieving anything, or congratulations. The only thing to ever come out of his mouth were insults, blame and sarcasm.

My mother is a different story, she has said nice things from time to time, but only if she's been drunk and wanted more booze, but she would always take back anything nice she had said, either because she got more drunk, and when she is drunk she thrives on arguments, she loves causing huge rows as she loves the tension they cause and all the attention she gets from it; but she would also take back anything nice she had said the minute I didn't obey one of her very many demands she would make while drunk. Although to be fair, my mother has said half nice things when she's been sober, but they're always finished off with an insult too, she would always add something negative.

Growing up I was always left out of things; family days out, the occasional short family 'get away', or any family gatherings or parties. My family would get invited but I would be left out. My parents would say to me, 'its not your thing', or they'd tell other people, 'not to invite me cause its not my cup of tea'. I was invisible.

With my career or any studies I did, I had no help at all, no support and no encouragement; in fact my parents would do anything they could to make it even harder for me, sometimes it has been impossible; climbing Everest would of been easier. I was desperate to stand out and be seen by my parents, in the hope they would accept me and include me as part of the family. I so desperately wanted to belong! But there was nothing I could do. Now I am changing direction in my career, and I am going to do the things that I really want to do, for myself and my own personal happiness and achievements, not to stand out in the hope of being accepted by people who are not interested in me. Although it is very difficult to take on new challenges, especially as I am filled with so much self doubt, thinking I am not good enough and thinking that everything will go wrong; but I must try! I have been programmed all wrong but it is now up to me to put it all right.

Strangely, after everything that has happened I don't hate my parents, but I do hate how they treated me, and I know it was wrong. I also know it wasn't my fault. I never had a happy childhood, in fact I never had a childhood, I had to look after my parents, getting caught up in the middle of their pathetic arguments; I had to keep the house tidy and look after my younger sister; but I had no thanks for what I was doing from my parents; as far as they were concerned it was my fault they had money problems, drank too much and had an unhappy marriage. It is always easy to blame someone else for your own mistakes, if you want your life to change, stop blaming others and take control and make the changes you need.

I have done everything I can to get accepted by my family, but nothing changes, no matter what I do. I've learnt the hard way that you can't make people want you; if you're rejected, you are rejected no matter what you try to do, or what you try to achieve. That bond and connection that should of been there in childhood isn't there, and it never will be.

Although it is not too late for me. To begin with I have to accept the past and I have to accept that none of it was my fault; it was other people trying to remove their own guilt and transfer it onto me. One day I will be able to fully heal from my broken past, because I do belong to someone, one day someone will want me. Allah has already chosen that perfect person for me. The greatest thing in life is not being loved, but to be able to give unconditional love to someone; to be able to surrender your heart to someone; to submit your soul, your very being to them. Love can repair everything.

I am trying to prepare myself ready to find that person I belong to, I am ready to heal and move forward, one day I will be strong enough and ready for love. There will be a time when I am no longer invisible.